i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i barfeds in our rink
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
