how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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