Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
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Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
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"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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