If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
