OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
