The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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