i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
