just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
