Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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