I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
