I hope mine doesn't look like that
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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