I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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