I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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