Four minutes until I can fart!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
