i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
