My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
