Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
