I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
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But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
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I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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