go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
