Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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