I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
