5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
