I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
