dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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