apparently the secret to your success is patron
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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