none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
