someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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