Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
