He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
