from now on my penis is your penis
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize