It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
