the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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