You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
