it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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