I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
