I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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