Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
