My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize