Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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