I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
