I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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