Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
