I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
