i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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