matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
