we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
