She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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