Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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