We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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