I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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