What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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