**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize