Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize