So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
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I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
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They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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