You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
