His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You're so nebulous sometimes
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
