ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
