We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
