she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
