just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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