I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
