i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
