well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
